[R-G] Vonnegut: State of the Asylum

[Tim Murphy]

FEB.5th.2004

IN THESE TIMES

http://www.inthesetimes.com/

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State of the Asylum

By

Kurt Vonnegut


Editor’s note On the afternoon of Tuesday, January 20, In These Times
received a fax:

ON ORANGE ALERT HERE. ECONIMIC TERRORIST ATTACK EXPECTED AT 8 PM EST. KV

Worried, we called Kurt Vonnegut. What did he know?! He said he would tell
us when he had more complete information. The next morning we received
another fax, a transcript of a conversation he had, he said, with the
out-of-print science fiction writer Kilgore Trout.

TROUT Did you watch the State of the Union address?

KV Yes, and it certainly helped to remember what the late British
philosopher and mathematician Bertrand Russell called this planet.

TROUT Which was?

KV “The lunatic asylum of the Universe.” He said the inmates had taken over
and were trashing the joint. And he wasn’t talking about the germs or the
elephants. He meant we the people.

TROUT There was certainly nothing in our president’s behavior to match
Howard Dean’s tarantella after he placed third in Iowa.

KV That was straitjacket and padded cell stuff. I’m glad he put on such a
show, since it dramatized a fatal flaw in our Constitution.

TROUT Which is?

KV Only a nut would run for president. As far as that goes, only disturbed
people ran for president of my class in high school. My point is that doing
a Dean isn’t the only way to show how disconnected you are from what is
really going on.

TROUT For example?

KV I’m in New York City, where they mainstream the clinically insane, turn ’
em loose on the streets. There could be a little old lady on Times Square,
crooning in subzero weather, crooning to nobody in particular about all she
has done to make this a better country, safer, better educated, more
prosperous and so on. She believes it with all her heart, but it isn’t true.

TROUT And?

KV I only want to say about our president, our armed forces’
Commander-in-Chief: He believes whatever he says. He might be the sincerest
person in the whole wide world. He should be in a movie. Correction: He is
in a movie, a made-for-TV movie, which is now our form of government.

TROUT You don’t feel that his tax cuts have staved off a depression?

KV Staved it off? Arnold Schwarzenegger’s California is ganz gebusted.

TROUT “Ganz gebusted?”

KV German for “broke,” unable to pay for even the most basic public
services. Governor Schwarzenegger, whom I met when he was nothing but “Mr.
Universe,” now thinks he can sell bonds for the next generation to pay off.
Hasta la vista, Baby. And every state and municipality in America is ganz
gebusted. You think Baghdad is a mess? Wait till you see Kokomo, Indiana,
two years from now.

TROUT What about President Bush’s statement that he gave a tax cut to the
rich because they could make wiser use of it than the government ever could?

KV

TROUT That’s all?

KV He told the truth! Even a stopped clock tells the truth once every 12
hours. Who couldn’t make better use of money? Would you just look what the
federal government has done with the billions and billions of public money
we used to have in our treasury? This administration has squandered it all,
and then some, on Rube Goldberg devices for protecting us from—or blowing
the crap out of—Arabs, most of whom could never attack us even if they
wanted to. It was Saudis who knocked down the Twin Towers. Anybody notice
that? And we act as though the Saudis are as pure as the Virgin Mary.

TROUT Thank you. I think that’s enough for now. You look as though you’re
about to do a Dean.

KV This war is making billionaires out of millionaires, and trillionaires
out of billionaires, and they own television, and they bankroll George Bush,
and not because he’s against gay marriage.

TROUT Yes, well, do get some rest, or maybe take a swim, a total change of
environment.

KV You want to hear about a really crazy guy?

TROUT OK.

KV Napoleon! He was so crazy he thought he was Napoleon! But what made his
case so unfunny, in fact catastrophic, was that he, unlike the little old
lady on Times Square, held real power! He was already, and no kidding,
Emperor! So, as a consequence of his delusion, there would be absolutely
genuine screams of agony and blood and guts all over the place—for years to
come.

TROUT OK.

KV You don’t think this is the Lunatic Asylum of the Universe?

TROUT I don’t think I expressed an opinion one way or the other.

KV We are killing this planet as a life-support system with the poisons from
all the thermodynamic whoopee we’re making with atomic energy and fossil
fuels, and everybody knows it, and practically nobody cares. This is how
crazy we are. I think the planet’s immune system is trying to get rid of us
with AIDS and new strains of flu and tuberculosis, and so on, but I think it
’s too late. I don’t think even it can keep George W. Bush from getting
elected to a second term.

TROUT Peace.

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