[R-G] a lovely bit from Geov Parrish

[DavidMcR at aol.com]

<< Seattle Weekly December 25 - 31, 2002
 The List
 by Geov Parrish
 
 I want a list.
 
 I want a full accounting of every weapon in the country. Not Iraq. I could
 give a fig about Iraq. It's dirt-poor, halfway around the world, almost
 completely disarmed, has no way to attack us, and knows that any move to
 threaten anyone would be instantly suicidal. America faces many threats.
 Iraq is not one. Among all the American-trained dictators plaguing the
 planet, Saddam is the least of our problems.
 
 I want a list of our weapons.
 
 After all, we pay for them--and pay and pay. And that was even before 9/11
 and the giant sucking wound where the federal surplus once was. That money,
 yours and mine, went almost entirely for yet more weapons and the capacity
 to use them. I want an accounting.
 
 It's the United States, after all, that poses a threat, not just to its
 neighbors but countries anywhere in the world. Ask Iraq, Afghanistan,
 Kosovo, Serbia, Pakistan, Sudan, Haiti, Somalia, Bosnia, Panama, Libya, or
 Grenada--all countries we've bombed or bullied in the past 20 years. It's
 the United States whose foreign policy now officially reserves the right to
 invade any place in the world for any reason or none at all. It's the United
 States that sells weapons to one or more sides of virtually every one of the
 five dozen or so wars now raging. It's America, with the oldest and biggest
 nuclear weapons program in the world, the U.S. alone, that has proudly used
 them. It's the United States that has shredded the world's arms-control
 structure, the U.S. that breaks international treaties the way other
 countries fund health care. Routinely.
 
 OURS ARE THE WEAPONS of choice for everyone from psychotic serial killers
 to jungle guerrillas to kleptocratic dictators the world round. Every
 American
 embassy makes it a priority to pay for the marketing, credit underwriting,
 and purchase of those weapons, and closes the deal. It's the U.S. that
 underwrites and trains intelligence agencies and secret police the world
 over, including any number of countries where state torture and murder are
 the norm. We pay for it all. I want a list.
 
 I want it in three weeks.
 
 I want to know every single weapon or potential weapon possessed by the
 United States. Not just the Pentagon. Every single agency, down to the Mint
 and the Library of Congress. If the Library of Congress' assistant medical
 archivist carries mace in her purse when she goes to the parking garage, I
 want to know. I also want every potential weapon government employees
 possess. Every firearm John Ashcroft and his NRA-loving appointees own,
 everyone else down to the grade C-3 summer interns. That includes dual-use
 weapons, like nail files, or certain kitchen spices which, when mixed with a
 nasal decongestant, can produce a splotchy red rash. I want the list. All of
 it. No typos, please.
 
 But that's not all. It's not just our government that poses a threat to the
 world; corporate America does, too. If Coca-Cola doesn't constitute an
 invading army, I don't know what does. Therefore, I also want all of the
 weapons or potential weapons possessed by any entity that does business in
 the United States. Whether or not Americans own it. Air Botswana, this means
 you. That includes all employees and all subcontracting employees and
 agencies. Like Coke's Ouagadougou bottling plant. Can't be too careful.
 
 You've got three weeks. And it had better be complete. And indexed.
 
 OF COURSE, I DOUBT you'll cooperate. The Pentagon alone doesn't know
 what happened to billions of dollars. Accounting individually for every
 paper
 clip--after all, they're pointy--seems unlikely. I expect many companies
 won't fully cooperate, either.
 
 They'll claim proprietary information or some other lame excuse.
 
 Weasels.
 
 We'll have to do inspections, of course. Unannounced, accompanied by a
 battalion or two. When they object, we'll call it part of their sustained
 pattern of noncooperation.
 
 Have I mentioned that I retain the right to shoot down any aircraft that
 appear over the skies of Kentucky, Ohio, or Indiana? They'll probably pitch
 a fit about that, too.
 
 But then, that's what you'd expect from people whose love of power is so
 fierce that they'd willingly endanger their own people, right?
 
 After all, by inspiring billions of people to loathe America, it's you and I
 who are put at risk. We're the ones who'll walk past exploding hotels or
 work in collapsing office towers. We're the collateral damage.
 
 And we're paying for it, out of every paycheck. We pay for the carnage.
 Now and later.
 
 The least we can get is a list.
 
 Three weeks.
 
 gparrish at seattleweekly.com >>