[Marxism] Assassinated Press: Cubans Imagine Cuba after Bush's Death (rated R for profanity and lurid descriptions of the sex act)

[Greg McDonald]

The Assassinated Press

Cubans Imagine Cuba After Bush’s Death.
Same Old State Of Siege By Gringo Assholes Predicted To Continue.

By PADDY BARKER
Assassinated Press Staff Writer
June 29, 2007

NEWPORT, R.I., June 28 – In recent survey Cubans were asked to  
speculate on what Cuba would be like after George Bush’s death. An  
overwhelming majority said there would be no change.

“When Bush dies? What the fuck are you talking about? That fucking  
little inconsequential hand puppet, fist fucked on the AM everyday by  
President Cheney? Is that who the fuck we’re taking about? ” said  
Juan Molito. “I’ll tell you what Cuba will be like after Bush dies.  
The same old yanqui shits that have embargoed us, tried to starve us  
out, burned our crops, poisoned our water table, blew up our  
factories and refineries, used WMD and biological weapons on our  
population, livestock and crops etc. etc. will continue to harass us.  
Doesn’t the Great American Bald Lemming know anyfuckingthing? Christ.  
The fucking CIA itself just published some of the shit the U.S. has  
done to Cuba. And that little fart, Bush, has the shit to speculate  
on our fate. He is definitely a man of the people if you limit what  
you mean by ‘people’ to the knuckle dragging morons that inhabit the  
U.S.--Homo Pendejos.”

Faux President Bush on Thursday openly anticipated his own death and  
what effect it will have on the tiny Caribbean island after nearly  
half a century of iron-fisted antagonism from the gringo shit bath to  
the North.

Asked to comment, current CIA director, General Michael Hayden said,  
“Bush? What the fuck are you talking about? The only lasting effect I  
can imagine is giving hope to brain dead cockatoos---constant  
preening, repeating in indecipherable English what he’s repeatedly  
told to say, all the while maintaining a blank stare.”

“One day, the good Lord will take George Bush," Semina Juarez told  
the Assassinated Press, “And frankly no one will give a fuck. The  
U.S. will continue to torture innocent cab drivers on Cuba’s eastern  
tip. The yanquis will still invade countries to steal their natural  
resources when the World Bank/IMF scam fails. They’ll lie and cheat  
and murder and then like the infantilized culture they are they will  
say everyone else is at fault. Do you yanqui pendejos know that there  
are over 11,000,000 people living in Cuba now? When Batista was in  
power there were only 6 million. Do you dumb yanqui shits know why  
that is? It’s because under U.S tutelage e.g. the Batista years  
Cuba's infant mortality rate was among the highest in Latin America  
and the Caribbean. Yes, white fucks like Bush and you let our  
children die while you exploited out natural wealth and fucked our  
starving daughters. Now, we have an infant mortality rate that is  
lower than any major metropolitan area in your gringo utopia. All  
your money and you can’t do dick and save your own children because  
you’re just a bunch of thieves and liars. So fuck Bush. He’ll burn in  
Hell. God knows. God knows.”

Bush commented on his own death and his legacy during a question-and- 
answer session at the U.S. Naval War College here. The faux President  
opined about the days of a free Cuba when his grandfather Prescott  
Bush along with Joseph Kennedy, Henry Ford and Meyer Lansky could  
travel to the island and gamble, shoot heroin and prostitutes and  
fuck 8 year old boys all under the discrete hospitality of the pre- 
Castro Cuban governments. As the audience laughed and began to  
applaud, Bush seemed to realize that speculating on his own death had  
struck a chord with his audience. He tried in vain to quiet the  
crowd. "No, no, no," he told audience members.

But he then imagined what it would be like once he is gone and  
forecast a debate over how aggressively the United States should try  
to re-open its dirty little whore house to the South should his death  
inspire a Bay of Pigs type uprising of grief among the Miami Cuban  
community. "The question is, what will be the approach of the U.S.  
government when I pass?" he said. "My attitude is that we’ll need to  
use the opportunity of my death to call the world together to promote  
democracy as the alternative to the form of government Dick Cheney  
has installed here."

The discussion of Cuba came as a tangent in response to a man in the  
audience who asked Bush about Colombia, Bush apparently unable to  
distinguish between the two countries. Bush came here to talk about  
the war in Iraq and hail what he sees as signs of progress since the  
troop increase he ordered in January. But what dumb fuck is buying  
that bullshit? Asked about the remark on his own death, spokesman  
Gordon Johndroe said, "The president was commenting on an inevitable  
event that in fact may already have arrived."

The world’s people for years have for years hoped that Bush would  
die, but more Cheney and other members of the U.S. kleptocracy that  
make their lives a living hell. CIA documents released this week  
showed how in the 1960s the kleptocracy tried to hire the Mafia to  
kill Castro. Bush and his aides have not been careful not to appear  
ghoulish in public about the prospect since Castro fell ill last year  
and Bush’s death wish seems to back up speculation that the once  
buoyant and stupid puppet president has grown morose. If nothing  
else, the administration does not want to unduly excite Latin  
Americans by publicizing Bush’s death wish. “I think latin America  
and the rest of the world project Cheney’s death and the death of  
America on George Bush,” White House Chief of Stink, Karl Rove, said.  
"This is a mistake. Bush has nothing to do with making administration  
policy anymore than his demise will signal the death of American  
Imperilism. The whole notion is absurd.”

In March, just before a trip to Latin America, Bush stepped more  
gingerly around the topic of his own death when anxiously questioned  
by journalists from the region, but made much the same point about  
the aftermath. "How long I stay on earth, that's a decision that will  
be made by the Almighty," Bush said. "But once that happens, once --  
you know, I may live, I don't know, I don't know how long I’m going  
to live -- but, nevertheless, I do believe that the system of  
government that Dick Cheney has imposed upon the people ought to live  
no matter what the people decide."