[A-List] Sex and the Single Female
Henry C.K. Liu
hliu at mindspring.com
Sat Jan 14 15:08:35 MST 2006
Since sex is a key preoccupation in American culture, to say that a
single female is in deed of a man can hardly be labelled as
"misogenynist attack." It seems more to the point than Rice's tiresome
and tireless call for the need for democracy around the world when the
term has long been distorted by Churchill as neo-imperialism. Sexual
refernce in politics is as common in everyday American conversation as
football. LBJ referred to massive bombing of Vietnam rhetorically to Ho
Chi Ming many times in White House staff meetings: "I'm going to cut off
Of course, Rice can call Zhirinovsky on his accusation by releasing
documented record of her sex life to show that she has not be sexually
deprived since entering politics. Or to argue that JFK's sexual
indiscretions in the White House was not the source of strength in his
ability to resist the military's pressure to launch a pre-emptive attack
on Cuba durring the Missile Crisis. Or Clinton's non-sex oral engagement
with Monica did not prevent him from sending a missile trying to kill
Osama bin Ladin in Afghanistan.
Henry C.K. Liu
Steamed about Rice,
Russian pol unleashes rant
Russian pol Vladimir Zhirinovsky says what Condi needs is a man.
Condoleezza Rice might want to see if there's room in one of those
"black site" terror-suspect prisons for Russian politician Vladimir
The wacko leader of Russia's Liberal and Democratic Party has surpassed
his earlier screeds with a misogynist attack on our secretary of state.
Speaking with Pravda this week, Zhirinovsky chastised Rice for calling
on Russia to "act responsibly" in supplying natural gas to Ukraine.
The fascistic pol attributed that "coarse anti-Russian statement" to
Rice being "a single woman who has no children."
"If she has no man by her side at her age, he will never appear,"
Zhirinovsky ranted on. "Condoleezza Rice needs a company of soldiers.
She needs to be taken to barracks where she would be satisfied.
"Condoleezza Rice is a very cruel, offended woman who lacks men's
attention," he added. "Such women are very rough. … They can be happy
only when they are talked and written about everywhere: 'Oh,
Condoleezza, what a remarkable woman, what a charming Afro-American
lady! How well she can play the piano and speak Russian!'
"Complex-prone women are especially dangerous. They are like malicious
mothers-in-law, women that evoke hatred and irritation with everyone.
Everybody tries to part with such women as soon as possible. A
mother-in-law is better than a single and childless political persona,
A State Department spokesman told us Rice would not "dignify the article
with a response."
Zhirinovsky has made no secret of his insanity in the past. Besides
praising Hitler and encouraging the use of nuclear weapons, he has
advocated Russia's invasion and "reacquisition" of Alaska. To eradicate
bird flu, he's suggested arming every Russian and ordering them to shoot
everything with feathers. Perhaps we could fit him with a Big Bird costume.
How celebs make 13th a lucky Friday
With Friday the 13th upon us, you can bet that superstitious celebs will
be taking no chances.
Shaquille O'Neal may be putting on an extra coat of blue toenail polish.
(The Lakers star got into the habit after his mother treated his stubbed
toe with some nail hardener the same night that he scored 46 points.)
Sen. John McCain may be carrying his lucky compass, his lucky feather,
his lucky penny, his lucky rock and his lucky pen. He believes the
talismans helped him survive two plane crashes.
Wherever he is today, Jackie Chan will surely sleep on the ground floor.
"I was caught in four separate earthquakes growing up in Taiwan," he
told Webster Hall's Baird Jones.
Elton John may be eating off his Gianni Versace plates. The Rocket Man
is said to believe the crockery is inhabited by the Gianni's spirit —
though you have to wonder what's so lucky about a murdered designer.
Indeed, some Italians are said to regard Elton as un-lucky because of
his closeness to Gianni and Princess Di.
Hilary Swank may actually greet this day with joy. The "Million Dollar
Baby" star came to see 13 as lucky because that was the number of her
seat last year when she won her second Oscar. Then again, with her
marriage to Chad Lowe on the rocks, it may not be lucky enough.
Jennifer Aniston's camp is denying it, but we hear Brad Pitt warned her
last week that Angelina Jolie is expecting his child. All the same,
"Jennifer is devastated," says our source. Meanwhile, Jolie's ex Billy
Bob Thornton would take no questions about the baby news when he turned
up at Wednesday's L.A. party for Akasha Richmond's cookbook, "Hollywood
Dish." … Eva Longoria jumped into Jamie Foxx's silver two-seat
Lamborghini and sped away after Mary J. Blige's surprise birthday party
at Ortolan in L.A. Wednesday night. … Lindsay Lohan had dinner at Jewel
Bako here with Yoko Ono, who's counseling her on her role in the movie
"Chapter 27," about John Lennon's murder. P.S. — we're assured that,
while Lindsay and pal Kate Moss did practice their pole-dancing at
Scores this week, they did not grope or kiss each other, as you may have
read. … "Lost" Actress Cynthia Watros pleaded guilty to drunken driving
yesterday in Hawaii. She was fined $370 and had her driver's license
suspended for 90 days. … Philip Seymour Hoffman's rep insists he doesn't
drink, so he couldn't have been "overserved" at the National Board of
Review awards, as we reported yesterday. Hoffman told us people often
ask him to mimic Truman Capote, who definitely did drink, but "I'm never
going to play Capote again … out of respect for him."
With Jo Piazza and Chris Rovzar
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